Have you been to TED? It is a place to find good presentations of ideas. I go there at least once a week to see what is new or just look for something I have not seen before.
Recently this one talk has captured my attention: The power of vulnerability, by Brene Brown. The talk is about human connection, how it happens, how it works and when it does not work. “When you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.” As people and as people with vitiligo, we know a thing or two about disconnection. “Is there something about me, that if people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection.” It is universal for humans. It is particular to people with vitiligo. We experience a fear of rejection in a way that is different for people without vitiligo. Still, we are all human and we can learn from each other, whether people have vitiligo or not, we can still learn from each other. I would be curious to hear what you all have to say about this talk, embedded below here:
Have you considered vulnerability to be a personal strength? Is it possible that vulnerability allows for significant personal connection? This is what is discussed.
Considering these ideas has brought about there thoughts: We are vulnerable to the people around us and we have vitiligo. We are not vulnerable because we have vitiligo. Vitiligo does not make us vulnerable. We are vulnerable to people because we are people.
We walk outside with spotted skin, two tone skin and hope that we will not be judged less beautiful than others. We hope that people will not notice. We hope that we will be accepted for who we are. We hope that we will be loved in such a way that our vitiligo will not matter. These are human concerns. All humans have these same concerns. The concerns of a person with vitiligo are colored by the disease vitiligo, yes, but they are universal human concerns.
We feel shame about a broad range of things. I wonder if having vitiligo will prevent someone from loving me in the same way someone wonders if they are too quirky enough to be loved, or too this or too that.
There is an endless supply of shame that we don’t confront in our lives. For me, shame will be something that I will confront as best as possible. When I am in the right company, I will talk about it. I will not allow shame to affect my life as it has in the past.
How does shame function in your life? What are you doing to rid yourself of shame?
Hi Keith! Loved this talk too. If you haven’t already read her book “The Gifts of Imperfections” you should. It was great!
So glad you stopped by Sarah.
I do plan on reading it. I have much to learn about that subject!
Love,
Keith
Beautiful post Keith, I just love this. I have long gotten to a stage where there is nothing like shame and my Vitiligo, yes I get shy once once as human, but never cos of my Vitiligo atleast not anymore.
I really understand shame to a point, I got a gift of a book ‘I thought It Was Just Me’, beautiful book on shame. Glad I stopped by will look for “The Gifts of Imperfections”, I need to read it and possibly get for our proposed resource center.
Been a while Keith
HI!, I am a woman, i can really use cosmetics so i can paint my whole face… but anyways the dresses, the bikinis, the 60% white makes me look like thriller in M.Jacksons videoclip…
in summer… im tottally going into depression cuz i feel that boys realize my issue and take some advantage…is like the fattys are so generous and smiling, so we compensate our lack by giving way much more than the person even deserves…. its not about get along with the sickness…. i wanna heal, or find someone with vitiligo, so would e a even fair relation,,,, lets do a web for chating!!! im far away…in Uruguay…. i will find those books anyway…. but is nice to be sexy… and attractive….it suck to have violet under eyes and lily lips,,,,,, do you have that??? well i do!…. tell me ,,,would you like to see that 8 am mornig in your bed???? frightening,,,,,, so get heal, in venezuela they are ahving great succes,,i probably will be going this year,,,, in the mean time,,, enjoy excercise… and good try,,,,, i was the same as you 10 years ago… now the vitiligo is taking most of my body….. we WE NEED TO HEAL, NOT TO ACCEPT!!! WE CAN DO IT, I DID IT ONCE USING MENTAL CONTROL THERAPIES,,,, RELAXING AND BACK IN TIME INMY MIND,,, BUT 3 YEARS LATER,,,, I TOOK SOME DRUGS AND DISSTABILIZAED MY MIND AGAIN… so i am having more now….. its in our mind, lets change !!!!!!! lets relax! lets be happy
I have to be honest I have had some shame because of my skin. It makes me feel very insecure and uneasy. Long story short I got on my knee after a fall, and again shortly after my mom passed away. I do think it’s a learning lesson. I have been reading the “Mastery of Love” and ‘The Voice of Knowledge” by Don Ruiz. He is the same author of “The Four Agreements” which is also good. It is Toltec philosophy on how to be aware by don’t make assumptions, don’t take things personally, use your impeccable word, and always do your best. Basically these agreements help you become aware. This philosophy has helped me deal with my shame. This may sound like a book review but it’s helped me mentally.